In Room 14 we have been working on making our writing more interesting by letting the reader know what is happening by creating a picture with words rather than simply telling them. This is called writing with Show not Tell. We have taken boring sentences and rewritten them in an interesting way. Here is a couple of samples.
Original Boring Sentence: It was cold on the beach.
Nikki’s Show not Tell Sentence:
As the wind furiously blew, I fought against it to finally reach the car park. Sand blew into my face, waves rumbled with terror as they rose and clapped back into the ocean. As I reached the car I opened the door, it flung back like a gun that back fired. I quickly jumped in the car. As I struggled to close the door, the wind changed direction and slammed it for me. “Maybe tomorrow”, I said to myself as I drove away from the beach.
Original Boring Sentence: Dad was angry.
Georgina’s Show not Tell Sentence:
Dad’s face was as red as a traffic light, his jaw clenched as if a lion ready to pounce. Steam was exploding out of his ears like a volcano and his veins were popping. I think dad is mad.